My gassy-ass demands it.

2 pm, everyday, the rumbles start.  I already hate the office for having cubes, nothing but rows of cubes.  But in my row, the old customer service center, we have low cubes.  Low, invasive walls that let my tummy rumbles rumble down the sidewall, hit the back of the end cube and bounce back.  I shift, I squirm, I actually hit my stomach at the start of a grumble to try and knock the bubble out of the rumble zone.  Everyday, 2-4:30.  I do laps around the office, I hang out in the kitchen, but my to do list brings me back to my cube, where I can’t do anything b/c I just know my tummy will rumble and I know people from the row over are wondering “who the hell’s stomach is doing that?”  Argh. 

So, that’s why I decided to go vegan.  Clear out the dairy, clear the heavy carbs, and clear out the 2pm rumbles.  And after two weeks of what the eff is going on with my stomach, no more rumbles!  So worth it.  I mean, I still eat cookies (are you crazy?  Cookies!), just mostly on the weekend when there’s no one to hear the tummy rumbles. 

Just to clarify, I’m not a vegan thumper, I won’t come to your door and ask you to praise hummus.  I’m honestly jealous of people with steel stomachs and am almost convinced their mothers must have fed them crushed glass in infancy to build up such an ability what with all the crap in today’s food.  For me, for now, I don’t have to face the embarrassment of the office rumbles.  Praise hummus!

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