Tone it down

I don’t know what’s come over me, but I’ve grown about a jillion times stronger in my convictions than I was 4 months ago.  Maybe it’s hormonal, maybe it’s gynocological, maybe it’s just getting older.  I hope it doesn’t go away, though.  I feel brave, and while I never felt like a meek little door mouse, I can’t say I’m one to stand up for myself unless you crushed me under your overly-needy thumb.  Otherwise, I tended to steer the other way, take the non-confrontational route (oooh, but that time in seventh grade standing in the gaggle of girls when I shouted out Ashley, you’re always saying other people are changing, have you ever thought that maybe it’s you with the problem? girls cheered me on, my ego glowed so bright…)  Here’s what I feel strongly about – being an atheist, being a vegetarian, doing what it takes to take responsibilty for your woes (job, love, or body unhappiness – get over it and dooooo something about it already!)

And then I have to share this with all the world!  Like when I met boy I rubbed it in to everyone that I found my atheist vegetarian man and that he’s an atheist vegetarian and being an atheist vegetarian is so cool and I told this to everyone and now my family thinks he’s super-liberal atheist vegetarian cult-leader that has warped my brain into atheist vegetarianism.  Why couldn’t I have just said he’s really funny and makes me laugh out loud?  (and just for the record, it took me 3 yrs after we met to become vegetarian and 6 yrs to decide that I am an atheist.  I won’t buy your gimmick, sir, I’ll figure it out for myself.) 

Why doesn’t someone slap me in the face and say tone it down, honey.  (I just love it when people call me honey.  I feel like Jessica Alba.)

So I have been a little over-defensive in what I have found to work for me and I keep shoving it on other people and I can’t help myself.  So, I am going to try and tone it down.  I’ll just judge people a little quieter. 


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