In need of boy friend

Not of the smushy gushy smitten variety, but more of the let’s go out to lunch, chat, and then just hang out and watch TV variety. 

I am incapable of having these kinds of boys.  I had a few in college, okay two.  But one of those friendships was complete flirtatious banter and the other came part of the package when I hung out with his girlfriend. 

So every time some new guy gets hired at work we start up conversations and I don’t know what kind of messages I send out, but it always leads to the drunken mail-room guy creepily leaving a rose on my desk or the old man telling me I’m “pretty, really really pretty,” as I look around to see if anyone heard just in case it gets creepy and I need a witness.  And all I want is a friend but then they have to cross the line and it all just gets creepy.  Like the newbie being really cool at first but then asking me what’s the deal with my glasses, why don’t I wear them all of the time (always the lead in question) and then comes the Happy New Year hug after talking to him all of 3 times and I’m thinking awww, man.  Now I have to be the bitch and explain that while ex-boy and I still hang out like all the time, and while we still aren’t dating, I am just not on the market for dating. 

And ex-boy doesn’t count as a guy friend b/c he knows me too well.  Like when he turns around and finds me with my finger in my nose or has all the right suspicions when I cut him off in the doorway and warn him you do not want to go in there, b/c I can blame that smell on Jack but the little mutt was sitting by ex-boy’s side the whole time. 

and i’m sitting here having a full conversation with Jack realizing that i studied way too hard and socialized way too little this semester.  especially considering my cable just got turned back on from having been shut off because I was studying instead of paying bills.  So maybe it’s the “I’m kind of sad because I live alone and talk to my dog” vibe that’s causing the pity flirtations.  At least I don’t have cats.

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