Say Anything has been on replay all weekend on TV Land and I kept catching clips of it. At one point I caught it at that point when she confesses her love in that sad moment that begs to be mocked. I ran into the other room with full intention of faking some tears and sticking out my bottom lip and have it quiver a few times as I repeated “I love you,” gradually fading out into pathetic to see if ex-boy could guess what I had been watching. (not to mock that particular movie because I really do love it and keep begging someone, anyone, to give me a John Cusack love confession because if you do, I will be yours.) But the point is, I stopped, tripped up, got the pathetic face on, brought the quiver, but I couldn’t say the words.
Because I haven’t said those words to ex-boy since last June. And what if he didn’t realize I was re-enacting a scene from a movie and he said it back and we’ve each been waiting for the other to say it for the first time because it’s been so long. But words that once weighed a measly 2 lbs have fattened up in 7 years time to the weight of an obese man about to belly dive off the high board.
So I covered up the re-enactment attempt with an aerobatic move off the wall that would have, should have, landed me straight square on top of boy in the bed but an elbow to the knee later and I’m wondering about the long-term effect the abuse to my knees as of late will have….
so much for love.