On my first day in lab this semester there was this sorta hot guy that caught my eye. He was scruffy with a hat on and grungy clothes, unshaven. And when someone sneezed he said “salut.” and that killed it. He followed it up shortly with a way too loud proclamation of how he spent the holidays in Peru and it was just amazing despite the fact that his tone stayed completely flat while he described this life-changing experience. Ugh, I hate those types. Loud-talkers annoy the crap out of me, but that’s b/c I have way too sensitive hearing in a society where everyone has already blown their ear drums (and yes, I know I’m a low-talker. Quite aware, no need to point it out.) It’s that I’m indifferent because I’m trying to be indifferent attitude. It’s why I cringe when I hear Paris Hilton’s voice on the television. It’s why I don’t trust people who wear big fat sunglasses indoors and act like it’s nothing out of the ordinary. It’s what prevents me from being friends with some people, I just can’t get passed it.
I’m pretty sure I feel so strongly about it b/c in high school I was completely unable to be indifferent. I cared way too much about grades and over-reacted at most things. Then I went to England for a senior trip and in Bath there was this student-waitress that served us at a cafe and we said something and she responded “cheers” and omigod I so wanted to be her. So indifferent and living in Bath working at a cafe. In between ordering and waiting for the food to arrive I had already decided I was going to go to college just so I could become her. And then she came back with the food and we conversed more and she said “cheers” about four times over in that short period of time and I realized I had to change my life’s plan because now she just sounds stupid. And I don’t want to be stupid.
I’m glad I decided to accept that I could never be that. Because I remember distinctly the first time I saw wild turkeys on the side of the road and if I had to hide my excitement at that moment in order to maintain my image, I would have blown up.