blog = decline in actual relationships

I know a big pro that people say about blogs is the people they meet through blogging.  But I’m finding the opposite.  I like blogging, above everything else it’s cathartic (as has been demonstrated with my relationship issues, yeah, but let’s not talk about that.)  But I didn’t really set out to blog with the intention of driving traffic or networking.  And the result is I feel like my relationships with friends and family are suffering.  I know, seems weird, but here’s why.

I occasionally get weirded out by abnormally high traffic, so when that happens I lock up my blog and let the traffic go down and perhaps get kicked out of people’s readers before I open it up.  (Yeah I could probably do something more sophisticated, but check out that little site meter link in the blogroll and you’ll realize I am half-assed lazy and can’t even figure out how to get that working…)  So when I lock it up I start getting e-mails or maybe even a phone call from friends or family.  And you know, that’s really nice.  I hate talking on the phone, I really really hate it, especially when I am not in the mood for talking.  Or when the topic of “hey, are you and boy back together” or “hey, wasn’t there some other guy” comes up…  yeah, no, I’m not going to talk about either of those things.  But you know, hey, how are you?  that’s just nice.  Especially when someone asks it with the intention of listening to the response.  And I think sometimes people prefer just reading the blog and seeing if everything is alright with me or not via the blog and that’s that.  And I miss out on the other end. 

This is not going where I intended.  If I kept going, I would now ask “dear readers, how are you doing.”  Oh, and by all means feel free to respond to that.  I’m not a good talker.  For example, if I were telling the story of Jack puking on me in the middle of the night I would do an awful job of it.  Like the episode of… that show… the cancelled one… dammit… the one that was like SNL behind the scenes and had the one episode of the woman who was funny but couldn’t tell a joke to save her life…  and see?  that’s how my stories come out too.  just bad.  so it’s better that I write them.  But it’s not everything.  Like the past few months struggle with depression that finally drove me to going back on meds or what I am doing at work or colleague gripes (b/c lord knows I ain’t putting colleague gripes here, but hey, I’m only human) or how about the fact that I am not really sure my family even knows entirely what I do for a living b/c I don’t blog about it often. 

So anyway, it’s a narcisstic little rant and I should probably pick up the phone and call a friend.  But in any case, it’s just something that this medium lacks.  So, if I call, please don’t cut me off b/c you’re up to date on the blog.  And if I don’t call, well stop whining b/c you apparently aren’t calling me either.  So why bother reading 😉

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