rabble rabble rabble

Shorts.  I stopped wearing shorts in public (except to workout or hike in) about 4 years ago.  I don’t know why but I think it has something to do with the fact when we moved here to Cali 4 yrs ago I gained 10 lbs in the first few months and became extremely self-conscious (btw, it took me 3 years to get those 10 lbs off.  3 frickin’ years.)  So last weekend, I went to Target, and bought 2 pairs of shorts.  I delayed so long b/c you know those Bermuda shorts – I never even bothered trying those on b/c I thought they were made strictly for long-legged skinny girls whose thighs don’t touch.  And I finally tried on a pair.  And I love ’em.  So I wore them to work today.  The other pair is just for hiking and hanging around.  But the point is, I suddenly feel liberated by the simple act of wearing shorts again. 

Hair.  My hair and I have had a long standing battle.  I’ve worn it many ways, long and straight, short and spikey, bobbed and frizzy.  And do you know how opinionated people are about hair?  Boys especially.  My boy prefers it funky and short (the first time he saw me after I chopped it short short short, he stared at me with a smile on his face), but I’ve met boys that won’t even consider a girl attractive unless she has long hair.  Girls are opinionated too.  When I chopped my bangs long and shaggy in January, a nameless person looked at me, cocked her head to the side and said “well, do you like it?”  Personally, I think every girl should chop her hair short at some point because it teaches you a lesson in how people treat you.  I’ve gotten a free radio installation, tow truck ride, and beverages with long hair; not so much with short hair.  So a few years ago I went to get my hair cut and I said I wanted short short bangs but I want to keep my hair long.  The woman almost refused to do it.  She went really slow, and every snip “is this what you want?  sure?”  I liked it, everyone else, not really.  Here’s what I got (I don’t know what’s with my expression):

Anyway, I think this was my favorite cut.  Kept my bangs out of my face, it was a little quirky, and pair it with a 3/4 sleeve turtle neck and tights and I felt like a go-go girl (but really, I would never).

So I got this cut again.  And I could just tell people in the salon were like “what is that poor girl doing to her hair?”  And I swear this causes flash backs to serious high school left overs with the haunting voices from my group of girlfriends you’d be so pretty if you only tried a little..  ugh, hated that.  So I walked out of the salon, and without looking in any mirrors I just feel better.  My hair is out of my face but still long.  Boy calls it “the girl from High Fidelity cut.”  But this time, I promise to wear these short scraggly bangs that look like they were cut out of necessity from getting gum in my hair with a little more confidence.  B/c I like this look.

Last random rant…  The smoke here from the wild fires is eerie and scary.  I am on prescription cough suppressants from my cold of a month ago.  My cough alongside asthma and now wild fire smoke that I refuse to run through in the mornings and makes for an eerie bright orange eclipse-like sunset each evening is killing my lungs.  I can control my diet, I can control my exercise, but I can’t control the environmental effects of this on my lungs and it freaks me out.  As boy and I left Walnut Creek tonight and drove back to Oakland, we both hacked our lungs out in the car.  While we’re used to the smell, the effects are my eyes burn and my lungs hurt.  This is wigging me out a little…

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