About five or six years ago, boy came up to Saratoga Springs for my college graduation. I was always ecstatic to have him come visit and on top of that, I had family coming as well. It was the first time in my 4 years that my family had come to see where I was going to school. It was a big weekend for me and boy knew it.
We were clowning around in my apartment on the evening before my family arrived when he pushed me down on the bed and pulled a ring box out of his pocket. Just for some background, I was 21, we had been dating for all of 2 years, and I had NO idea where I was going to live after graduation. He, on the other hand, was 33 and working a really bad retail job in Pensacola. So what did I do? I wouldn’t take the box. He held it out for me to take. I shook my head then stuck my hand out and pushed the box away from me and said “no.”
Okay, now here’s the lame part. Or not so lame. It was a pair of diamond earrings. Yes, very sweet. BUT WHO DOES THAT?! It looks like a ring box so WHAT DID YOU THINK I WOULD THINK IT WAS?! It was funny at the time, but boy was so discouraged after that experience he often used it as the reason he would never propose. Because I would do the same thing again. Obviously, right?
You know that episode of The Office where Jim fake proposes to Pam? Here it is. I’ll give you a second to watch it:
While walking Jack on a very unseasonably gloomy evening, boy and I passed under an archway of trees that covered part of the sidewalk. He turned around sharply, and did EXACTLY what Jim did.
I stood there, waited for him to tie his shoe, and let him stand up.
Then I slugged him.