Monthly Archives: December 2008

for the sake of not disappearing altogether

Needless to say, it has been busy.  And this is a quickie.

Consumer free Christmas? Well, not by choice.  I haven’t bought or given a single gift yet.  And I have no plans on cramming in last minute shopping.  When the idea of shopping stresses me out, why would I go do it?  Totally planning on hitting up colleagues and family with Happy 2009! gifts 🙂

Or make that no Christmas? Gasp! Never! However, I’ve had the same question from several people – do boy and I celebrate Christmas since we’re atheist?  Are you KIDDING me?! OF COURSE!  Silly geeses.  What do we celebrate?  Each other.  Family.  Our good fortune.  And oddly enough, our favorite television show is Eli Stone.  We’ve been following this one from the start (and too soon end) and it centers around a Christian man who believes he’s God’s prophet.  We ENJOY the show, the very Christian show, that America has decided to cancel.

Dog is still freak. Why? because last Friday, after finding a sugar ant invasion in our new apartment after the first hard rain, I suffocated drowned a trail of ants across the hallway with a giant puddle of Raid ant killer.  I was proud of myself, too.  I hate hate hate bugs which is why boy usually handles bug situations before I get a chance to even see them, hence the drowning.  I was making a little swimming pool of Raid in the kitchen when I heard a tongue lapping in the hallway.   Jack found the puddle, and the little guy has such an oral fixation he has to put his tongue on everything!  And he doesn’t just lick, he goes to town savouring things such as poop, garbage, and apparently Raid.  I had a fit that sent Jack into an all-day pouty mood and called the ASPCA poison control to go over the ingredients and how Jack might react (and let me tell you, unlike the human poison control center, the ASPCA poison control center is not free.  $60 per consultation which is unfortunate in case someone chooses NOT to pay the fee and take the risk of waiting it out…)  Jack was fine, but I spent a whole day wondering if he was lethargic or just pouting because I used my mean voice at him.  And the advice from poison control?  Give him a treat so he can get the bad taste out of his mouth otherwise he’ll drool and foam at the mouth because he can’t spit.  Dear Jack, if it tastes bad, maybe you should have your tongue all over it!!!

and lastly.  I haven’t slept since Saturday night.  Last night I pulled my first all-nighter since those good ‘ole college days to get through my last final this evening.  I have a lot to say about this semester, but I’m not sure I’m ready to say.  Some of it is humiliating but most of it is frustrating.  Lessons learned – I will not be taking two 4 credit classes alongside working full time, and I will not beat myself up to the point of paralyzing anxiety over not understanding completely new and unfamiliar material.  Unfortunately, I’ve earned a few scars physically, emotionally, and on my transcript.  Nothing that can’t be undone, but it will require 2-3 times the effort and a complete fear of physics.

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Filed under Dog, Life, school

this little life of mine.

new-aptmnt-038This is where I wake up.  The morning light is awesome.  I slip out of bed, tuck my feet into a pair of pale green flower embroidered slippers I got from chinatown years ago, and tiptoe into the kitchen for a warm cup of tea.

All the while I’m being watched.  Something happened to Jack when we moved into the new apartment.  Maybe he knew boy and I were making things work, maybe he was just happy not to be shuffled back and forth between two apartments, maybe he’s just finally out of his punk adolescent stage, but


he’s cuddlier.  Happier.  Snugly.  And Sunday mornings are his snuggle indulgence.  The only time of the week when he is allowed to crawl up in between boy and me in bed and be smushed in between a tangle of blankets.

Weekday schedules are hectic with class, so Tuesday is the one evening a week devoted to cooking a meal and eating together.  Other evenings during the week are spent me leaning against the fridge eating saltines and butter and boy mixing nuts from one bag with chocolate chips from another into the palm of his hand before dumping the mix into his mouth while we rush through conversation about how are days have been.  I worried when we first moved here.  Boy and I talk and talk and talk.  I thought the apartment would be too big for us to carry on across room conversations, but we still manage…



This corner of the dining area is coveted.  We live on a busy corner and the front of our apartment is open to the world in odd angles along the street – this is the perfect place to sit and watch.  In the evenings with the lights on, curtains open, and the rush hour traffic outside, it’s hard to ignore the fact that half of our life is open for viewing.  At some point in time, strangers have seen us hugging, dancing, or me picking my nose…

Hardwood floors are new for Jack.  The layout of the apartment allows him to run laps from the living room to the hallway, through the kitchen, into the dining area and then into the living room to the hallway…  If we get him wired enough, he chases us in circles.  If he hears us flip direction when he’s not looking, he does the same.  He scampers in place for a good minute trying to turn around and keep his feet under him and the pawing, clawing, scraping is hysterical.  Henew-aptmnt-080 has flipped backwards and slammed down on his side far too many times only to bounce up and play it off.  Around bed time, he slides off the couch and has been caught letting his back feet sliiiiiiiiiide along the floor as he pulls himself forward in a long stretch.

And finally, I may complain about being stuck in a closet studying, but when we first saw this apartment boy noticed a curious door off the living room with 2 deadbolts on it.  The landlord saw us looking and pointed out that the previous owner had an expensive violin that he locked away in this closet.  Inside is a storage shelf, a window, and built-in desk.  When I stepped in first I shouted immediately “This is mine!”  It’s my study space.  I can lock out boy and Jack  and focus.  It’s my space, not shared space, but my space.  And while I thought we were getting a 2 bedroom apartment to ensure we have enough space to breath while we start this new phase in our relationship, all I really need is this

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Filed under Life